i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
