I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
