don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
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