cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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