so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
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