you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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