how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
it glows. i had to have it.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Randomize
