I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
