I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
