Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
