I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
