guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
