Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
