Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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