sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
