I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
