FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
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