"it" just moved
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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