fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
