It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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