I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
