a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
