he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
