My liver just broke up with me...
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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