I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
