I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
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