Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
You're completely useless in the revolution.
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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