How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
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