it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
two words...techno handjob
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Randomize
