Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
