I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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