tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
