try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
