I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
