The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
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