i need an iv and a liver transplant
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
