Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
