I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
