you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
he was CRYING into my vagina
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
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