hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
