once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
