well you can't waste a boner
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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