Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
