office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
