I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
