tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
is wine microwaveable?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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