yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
