Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Randomize
