okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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