And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
