I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
false alarm, still single
Randomize
