She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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