You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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